Friend In Need

Reading John Dobbs blog and the raw emotions expressed there reminded me of a conversation I had with Janelle soon after we learned of the loss of John Robert. I was looking for the right thing to say when I realized there isn't really anything anyone can say to make the pain go away. If there was, someone would have thought of it a long long time ago and everyone would have used it until it became cliche and was no longer of any comfort.

Second, the pain lets us know how deeply we truly loved. The pain is worth having experienced that love. Its hard to see it at the time....but time does begin to bring relief and somewhere the memories of the happy times out number the tears.

Third, some words bring no comfort at all. Cliches like "God must of needed another angel" come to mind. God is big enough and powerful enough to create angels enough. God did not reach down his hand and cause pain just because he needed another good person around him...he is not that petty.

Reading John's blogs reminded me that it is okay to be angry with God. I wish someone would have told me that when my father died. Instead at times I had the mixed emotions of the pain of the loss of my father and the guilt of being angry with God. Be angry and sin not.... don't let the anger turn to hatred but it is okay to cry, scream, shout or wail.

Also, sometimes there are no answers to the "whys". Why did God not protect? Why did God not answer all of our prayers? Why were they there? Why did I not take more time to ___?

Finally, if you are afraid to go because you don't know what to say...go anyways. Be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen and a friend to turn to in the loneliness. If you don't know what to say try "I love you and I am sorry for your loss". You can also sit there quietly, people will let you know when they are ready to talk.

I am definitely not an expert, counselor or anything like that.... these our just some of my observations. Go out and let someone know you love them.

In Him,

David